Lost

I spend a lot of time feeling lost.

I'm not the best at navigating on my own. That's probably an understatement.

Even my children know that I don't know where I am going much of the time. I drive by the violin teacher's house almost every time and they chorus from the back seat, "Mom, you drove by the house again!"

I never know where North is.
Let alone South, East and West.

There are places in town I can't quite seem to get to, even though I may have been there many times.

Lost.

This spring, I finally got a good smart phone with GPS and live navigation directions. I am rarely physically lost anymore. My phone even notifies my watch, which taps me on the wrist when it's time to turn.

Technology is really amazing.

But technology can only do so much. Even with technology, I have still managed to get lost a few times. Sometimes, it takes me to the building, but I can't find the parking lot, or the entrance. Sometimes, there's road construction.

That feeling of being constantly lost has not abated with the addition of GPS to my toolbox. I have realized there's more to not feeling lost than just knowing where I am and where I am going in physical space.

The directions for the rest of my life don't come with GPS in an app on a smart phone. I am still me, not very good at navigating, and I am still lost. I still feel like I don't know where I am going over half the time.

Where exactly am I supposed to go?
What job am I supposed to take?
What do I need to be doing for the people I care about?
How do I make this or that decision?
What is the right answer?
What is the right question for that matter, what if I'm asking the wrong one?

I forget that if I get quiet and listen there is a single answer for all of it.

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. 

No one comes to the Father except through me."

- John 14:6

I feel out of control when I feel lost. It seems that I have lost or am losing control. As if I had ever had control in the first place. I forget that it is not in my hands. Control is an illusion at best. It is not my way. My way does not need finding. 

Jesus is the way, and the way does not need finding. 

It just needs following. 

We're all so caught up in finding our own way. 
Or the American way.
Or the Minnesotan way. 
Or the feminist way. 
Or the Lutheran way. 
Or the Catholic way.

There are plenty of ways to get lost in. 

We've forgotten that there is only one way that matters. His way.

We all need to go Jesus' way. 

We all need to follow Jesus. 

We need to get unstuck from our fear and unstuck from our loss of control. 
We need to let go of this idea that there is another way and go his way.

And He said to them, "Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men."

Immediately they left their nets and followed Him.

- Matthew 4:19-20 

The disciples left everything. They didn't debate on it for days either. They didn't worry about being in control, or doing it in their own way. They didn't worry if it was a socially acceptable time to go. They didn't read a bunch of books on how to follow Jesus, take a class and debate it, and then go. Immeadiately, they left everything and followed Jesus. They knew what we have forgotten.

There is only one way. There is no other.

And he will lead us if we will only follow.

I will not be afraid

To surrender my way

And follow who You are

- Jeremy Camp, Reckless

Jesus, show us the way.